Saturday, November 28, 2015

love yourself

looking through my past
it seems like many things had changed
Facebook developed a new feature recently and I would say it tortures me so much
it will remind you all the photos you had posted on the same date few years back
it is very hard to imagine that i was once, that innocent
and all those memories
they are reminding me like flashback in my mind
it is also very hard to admit that many things had changed unknowingly
friendship & personality especially.

now only i realize how much i had changed
and the ironic truth is,
in the changing process,
I had lost friends that i used to cherish the most
blame it to the timing problem, and i being careless
when the problem came across my mind it was already too late to remedy
like a scar that wouldn't fade away
in my mind i know, some memories remain as memories, nothing else.
look at how fragile a relationship can be
whether it is friendship or sexual affection
you can once be close with a person and all of a sudden,
it can all turn into zero
and here you go, both of you go back to strangers.
it's hard to say that i have no feeling at all
but yeah, what for? Being sad or nagging or complaining doesn't help, at all.
the best thing to do is to move on, to leave all the past behind
all i can do is to turn my emotional thoughts into words, in here
where nobody will notice except for some friends that read my blog

i'm far more different now than who i was 18
i don't know what had changed
i guess the only thing that had changed is everything
but the good thing is
some of the friends still remain as my best friends since high school
specially dedicated to you, Jing Xian
my best friend since 13
thank you for being there for me all these years
despite the distance that tears us apart
you still care about me no matter what happened
thank you, though I know you won't see this
but i still feel grateful for having you

and here, thank you Yi Ying
one of my high school best mate
thank you for the one-hour call from Taiwan
though i was rushing for my final exam studies, the one-hour was definitely worth it
though the main objective of the call is not about me
I still feel appreciated that I am the one that comes across your mind when you are moody
you might not know but that call actually made my day :)
Thank you.

and thank you, my university friends
five of you.
thank you for playing more than one role in my university life
coursemates, housemates, roommates, playmates and many more
we stayed together, we had fun together, we suffered together, we studied together
i guess the friendship that we had developed throughout all these years are irreplaceable
and our three-year degree had gradually come to an end
thank you for being such a good company
without you guys i wouldn't had survived all those ups and downs
many people told me that i am lucky to have friends like this
i appreciate it so much
though i know you guys will not see this post
it's okay, i will keep this to myself :)

and lastly, my dear boyfriend Mr Goh
thank you for being there for me all these years
since 2011
you shower me with all your love and pamper me with foods and whatever i like
you listen whenever i need to talk
you embrace me with your care and patience
seeing you transforming from a bad-tempered person into a mature guy
i'm so glad that we manage to grow up together all these years

you need to lose something in order to gain something
i think the treasure that i had gained is all of you.
thank you people, for being there for me

for the people that celebrated 21st birthday with me
thank you
i really had a great time
and friends, thank you for remembering my birthday
even a private message greeting could make my day

and yeah, i'm officially 21st! since october 25th :)

i'm going to have my final exam in less than a month time
and i can't wait for Christmas !!!

honestly, i'm back here just to release my emotional thoughts
and i'm going to leave for studies again
final year struggle is real :(

Wish me Luck !