love yourself

looking through my past
it seems like many things had changed
Facebook developed a new feature recently and I would say it tortures me so much
it will remind you all the photos you had posted on the same date few years back
it is very hard to imagine that i was once, that innocent
and all those memories
they are reminding me like flashback in my mind
it is also very hard to admit that many things had changed unknowingly
friendship & personality especially.

now only i realize how much i had changed
and the ironic truth is,
in the changing process,
I had lost friends that i used to cherish the most
blame it to the timing problem, and i being careless
whatever.
when the problem came across my mind it was already too late to remedy
like a scar that wouldn't fade away
in my mind i know, some memories remain as memories, nothing else.
look at how fragile a relationship can be
whether it is friendship or sexual affection
you can once be close with a person and all of a sudden,
it can all turn into zero
and here you go, both of you go back to strangers.
it's hard to say that i have no feeling at all
but yeah, what for? Being sad or nagging or complaining doesn't help, at all.
the best thing to do is to move on, to leave all the past behind
all i can do is to turn my emotional thoughts into words, in here
where nobody will notice except for some friends that read my blog

i'm far more different now than who i was 18
i don't know what had changed
i guess the only thing that had changed is everything
but the good thing is
some of the friends still remain as my best friends since high school
specially dedicated to you, Jing Xian
my best friend since 13
thank you for being there for me all these years
despite the distance that tears us apart
you still care about me no matter what happened
thank you, though I know you won't see this
but i still feel grateful for having you

and here, thank you Yi Ying
one of my high school best mate
thank you for the one-hour call from Taiwan
though i was rushing for my final exam studies, the one-hour was definitely worth it
though the main objective of the call is not about me
I still feel appreciated that I am the one that comes across your mind when you are moody
you might not know but that call actually made my day :)
Thank you.

and thank you, my university friends
five of you.
thank you for playing more than one role in my university life
coursemates, housemates, roommates, playmates and many more
we stayed together, we had fun together, we suffered together, we studied together
i guess the friendship that we had developed throughout all these years are irreplaceable
and our three-year degree had gradually come to an end
thank you for being such a good company
without you guys i wouldn't had survived all those ups and downs
many people told me that i am lucky to have friends like this
i appreciate it so much
though i know you guys will not see this post
it's okay, i will keep this to myself :)

and lastly, my dear boyfriend Mr Goh
thank you for being there for me all these years
since 2011
you shower me with all your love and pamper me with foods and whatever i like
you listen whenever i need to talk
you embrace me with your care and patience
seeing you transforming from a bad-tempered person into a mature guy
i'm so glad that we manage to grow up together all these years


you need to lose something in order to gain something
i think the treasure that i had gained is all of you.
thank you people, for being there for me



for the people that celebrated 21st birthday with me
thank you
i really had a great time
and friends, thank you for remembering my birthday
even a private message greeting could make my day
:)




and yeah, i'm officially 21st! since october 25th :)


i'm going to have my final exam in less than a month time
and i can't wait for Christmas !!!


honestly, i'm back here just to release my emotional thoughts
and i'm going to leave for studies again
final year struggle is real :(




CIAO :/
Wish me Luck !

Oh hey.

I'm not sure whether people still read my blog 

but anyway, it's a beautiful, cozy Saturday and I finally decide to update my blog post 

It'd been a while, isn't it?

Since August 2015, I'm officially a final year student

How time flies

I'm grateful about everything that happened around me

I spent a wonderful 5-weeks summer holiday in Europe during my semester break from July to early August

And also, I managed to maintain my scholarship for the very last time!

For your information, the scholarship granted to me will be reevaluated once every year 

If your combined average mark of a particular academic year failed to fulfill the requirement, your scholarship will be cancelled immediately.

So, in other word, this simply means that I managed to secure my scholarship for my final year!

I don't need to worry about the next academic year anymore as I'm in my final year now!

I just want my parents to be proud of me and I will do my very best to not failing them :)

I'm glad that all my hard work has paid off eventually. 

Regarding the Europe trip that I had mentioned earlier on, I swear that that was the most awesome trip I had ever had. 

Another information - My degree is affiliated with degree in Lancaster University, United Kingdom. 

In a simpler word, we are getting two degree certificate when we graduate - one is from Sunway University and another one is from Lancaster University. 

I guess this is the main reason that we always struggle a lot when it comes to studies.

Lancaster University do have a very high standard and requirement on our academic performance.

Trust me, studying with Lancaster University has never been easy. 

:(

You can try to google them if you want to know more about them.

Alright, out of the five-week program, we spent our time participating in a cultural-exchange program in Lancaster University campus. 

We lived in the campus, we dined in the campus, and we participated in a lot of interesting activities, with the local students and students from China, Ghana, India, Pakistan and Nigeria. 

Deciding to participate in this programme would probably be the best decision I had ever made in my life!

And also, a big medal should be given to my dearest papa for making my dream came true :) (especially with the recent appreciation of pounds to malaysian ringgit) 

Secondly, a big thanks to my dear boyfriend for buying me a camera that I always wanted.

The camera had been following all the way to UK and Europe countries in my 5-week journey.

The flight to United Kingdom took us around 20 hours from Kuala Lumpur. (7 hours flight to Dubai + 6 hours transit wait in Dubai + 7 hours flight from Dubai to Manchester)

Upon arrival in Manchester, the students from Lancaster University greeted us at the entrance.

We settled ourselves down in Lancaster University's school bus and traveled to Lancaster from Manchester.

We arrived in Lancaster University campus after one hour ride. 

Lancaster University campus is crazily huge I would say, approximately 10 times bigger than Sunway campus lol. 

And we fall in love with the greenish field and blue sky instantly, and the weather.

Summer weather in UK is a very special one, we don't really experience usual summer weather here.

In UK, it had always been around 14-16 degree celcius during summer.

The temperature would even drop to 10 degree at night, crazy right?

You can even imagine how cold it will be during winter. 

Once we had settled down in Lancaster, despite our serious jet-lag symptom, we paid a visit to Lancaster city town right after that. 

I know we all look tired and awful in this picture but uhhh, who cares about the tiredness when the scenery there was so damn awesome? 

And for sure, we had our first English meal in the campus. 

That's it for today! More to come in future :)

pieces of shit

Everything around me just went wrong all of a sudden

Countless and tiring meetings and events
Coursework loads that I cant even manage to handle
Thousand billion times of fight and arguments
To meet the expectation and perfectionism inside me
I cant, I am overwhelmed

I don't even manage to get a good sleep these few days
Being tossed and turned on the bed thinking of tomorrow
I don't wanna face tomorrow
I am going crazy and in deep anxiety
Do you even know the feeling ? The feeling is swallowing me gradually deep inside
The feeling that you start to lose faith in yourself and worry that you can't finish all the works and tasks on time

Please, just let me go though this.
Be brave.

I'm a messy piece of shit. Right now, right here.

i'm not tired at all

一直催眠自己
真的不累

最近烦心的事情多了
想到自己多一个学期就实习了整个大 emo
想到自己下个学期就 Year 3 了 就 Final Year 了更emo
真的就要这么 投入社会的大染缸了吗
原来自己离自己当初的目标已经越来越近了
实习竟然拿到了自己一直都很想进的 audit firm
从还没来读大学 就跟自己说了一定要努力进去
所以实习真的要好好努力了

Assignment 很多 很多
我觉得自己跟当初 Year 1 进来的自己变了好多
不好的地方是觉得自己已经被渲染得不一样了
不单纯了 人也市侩了
人长大了或许总要为自己的未来着想的吧
变最多的应该是我的抗压力吧
大学真的是要外宿才会长大
体会了很多 学会了忍耐 学会了很多很多
自从在外面住了后 跟家里人的感情好了很多很多
也才明白想家是什么
英文这几年来也进步神速 这里到处都是需要说英文写英文的环境
前些日子才被人家说以为我是 Banana 心里有点开心
说明自己的英文还不算太差嘛

做 Research
依旧要对着一堆 10多页 满满的英文字
想办法理解 再come out 属于自己的想法
我真的 真的很累了
最近的生活好累啊
好想快些结束
不想再每天奋斗到深夜 第二天又要 830 的课
还我睡眠
睡眠 睡眠 睡眠



:(


很多事情都不顺
是不是放手就会比较开心呢


是不是该认真想想自己的未来了
这样下去真的会快乐吗

Update

It's been a while.
啊嗨
我回来了
离上次更新应该也有一个月多了吧

这一个月多可谓充实开心呢
12月中考完了 大学第二年的第一个学期的Final Exam
可谓辛苦的要死
从来没觉得自己可以这么落魄
每天寒窗苦读
然后考试后全部吐了出来 然后觉得自己又一无所有了呵呵
真的好难啊
但是还是没有后悔自己当初做的决定
还记得在考试期间时常打回家
跟妈妈说我怎么读都读不完
很压力很累
结果搞得妈妈担心我跳楼
我妈妈的女儿难道有那么脆弱吗 啧啧
不过啦 First of all 我也熬过去了
成绩在三个星期后也就是前几天也出炉了
查成绩的时候手还在直直颤抖呢
成绩没有很好但比我想象中好
所以还是要继续努力 好吗 :)

考完试后接着而来的就是假期
直直放假到三月中
每个人听了都说 哇你怎么那么爽
但 经历了一个月在家的米虫生活后
不禁觉得有课业忙着也不失为一件乐事
真是犯贱的人儿呀
想做工 但是没人请我 放假时间不长不短的
问了好多工但是都无疾而终
看来我这米虫的命儿 还是得认了吧
也好修补元气
三月放完假回去又是一番搏斗了 唉唉

先说说考完试后一直到今天一个多月里 我干了什么吧
除了每天在家吃喝拉撒睡 外加偶尔跟朋友出去打屁聊天
外加每个周末跟我亲爱的出去看戏吃吃饭
我还去了两趟旅行
很不应该的花了不少钱
不过这两天旅行真的好开心呢

第一趟旅行是和他第一次的出国旅行
去了台湾
阔别几年再踏入台湾国土
感觉真的好不同呢
这次跟他的台湾行 我们顺便去那里过圣诞

那时取得时候台湾真的冷的要命
温度没有很低但是猛刮风 有时还下绵绵的下雨
差点冷死了
那个旅程是个环岛之旅 每天都在赶行程都住不一样的酒店
赶得我们都好累
我们都决定下次誓死都要自助行了 去你的旅行团

台湾的食物对我来说没什么合乎胃口
我偏爱辣但是台湾的食物都淡淡的 (对我而言)
所以我去了台湾大约3-4天就嚷嚷说想念 nasi lemak 了 :(

台湾如今是冬季
也没什么衣服好买 就算有漂亮的衣服也是厚厚的长袖
带回热爆的马来西亚是要几时穿啊啊
所以基本上在衣服方面没买到什么
反倒败了两双鞋子 (那里球鞋好便宜 ~~~ )
还有一堆的面膜 我的天 ~~
那里是仅此于韩国的化妆品天堂哪

在台湾一个星期
虽说每天赶行程
但是感恩还是让我抽空见了几位中学朋友
在异乡与同乡人共聚多么温暖啊
第一个见到的是在台中的锦洲
但可惜聊得起劲 忘了拍照
谢谢你请的台湾绿盖 但是味道真的怪怪的 哈哈哈 (希望你不会看到)

第二个 呢 是我从13岁以来对我不离不弃的知心闺蜜好友 净贤
谢谢你带我走了 新倔江商圈和瑞丰夜市
晚上还来酒店陪我睡一晚聊天 第二天早上6点还要赶回你学校
辛苦你了 谢谢 :) 爱你一直一直
如果这些年没有你我也不知道自己会怎么样
如今我们的情谊踏入第7年 未来还有很长的路呢 :)

第三呢
是临回马来西亚的前一天
在台北见了 我亲爱的 歪歪 还有虹伶 还有啊贤的brother 程伟

谢谢歪歪和 虹伶特意前来一聚那短短的两个小时
自毕业后呀 见面的机会少之又少 所以能相聚是福
感恩啦 心中的感激难以言语
还是一句谢谢 :) 爱你们 !


从台湾回来后病了两天
伤风感冒 不过我依然活蹦乱跳的继续规划两个星期后的旅程 !


从台湾回来后几天 就是 2014 年 的 12月 31 日
跨年之夜 跟他们过

也是中学的好友群们
还是要感叹啊 毕业后大家各奔东西
能聚就尽量聚 今时不同往日
大家都有了各自的生活与圈子
不再是当初在商三情打打闹闹的年轻小子了
所以我特别珍惜每一次的相聚时光

我2014年的最后一夜就此献给了你们 :)



2015年1月 11日 我们的4周年纪念日
今年已经踏入了你在我身边的第五年
我们从当初的恶言相向
到现在彼此都长大了不少
当年年少气盛的我们才17岁啊 转眼我们都21了
虽然现在还是三天一小吵 五天一大吵
但是我想 吵架或许是我们的沟通方式把? (好一个自娱方式啊啊哈)
不过呢 你啊这些年 也让我成长了许多
谢谢你这些年的陪伴 未来我也很赖皮地希望你能继续跟我吵架 嘿

我们的周年纪念就在这漂亮小小的咖啡馆里默默庆祝了
平淡就是幸福对吧
它的马卡龙好好吃
就在马六甲 Jonker Street 的某一角落
是个值得一去的地方 :)

跨年夜后过了两个星期多的米虫生活
我又再次踏上旅途
这次是与我大学的同住室友们
我第一次与朋友搭飞机是跟他们一起 (去年我们一起去了沙捞越)
我第一次与朋友搭飞机出国玩也是跟他们一起
这次就是去我期待已久的泰国曼谷之行啦 !
我们的行程中还安插了去华欣
华欣是泰国最近几年红起来的旅游胜地
距离曼谷大约2个小时的车程
那里远离尘嚣 是个值得去放松心情的地方

我们的行程6天
前两天在曼谷 后三天在华欣 最后一天回到曼谷
于是我们就这样踏上了我们的自助行之旅

我与 欣玮 嘉钰
不约而同的买了同样一样款式的球鞋
但是颜色恰恰不一样
这就是默契吧 哈哈

坐飞机时还蛮喜欢坐在靠窗位置
虽然起飞时有点可怕
但是可以欣赏窗外的蓝天白云
多么惬意
飞机外的风景真的很美

来到曼不外乎就是为了它的食物和 血拼而来
我们一个人就搏杀了20多件衣服哪
那里的衣服好便宜
这里要价马币 40多块的牛仔短裤 在那里一件 只要 20 马币
而且布料超好
一件连身裙也顶多15至 20块马币
我们差点买到失心疯了
曼谷真是女人的血拼天堂 啊
衣服战利品我就不拍了
曼谷的零食也会让人疯掉呢

曼谷的食物让我至今都念念不忘

食物便宜又好吃 

在泰国吃过的食物很多很多

让我放上一些我最喜欢的吧

食物 1

这是在曼谷街边处处都有卖的香蕉煎饼
外酥内软 非常好吃
里面包的都是融化了的香蕉
外皮淋上厚厚的巧克力酱
超好吃 ～ 我是香蕉的爱好者啊
我在曼谷就足足吃了三次


食物 2

来泰国你没吃过Tomyum 怎么能算来过泰国呢
泰国随随便便一个路边小摊都能把 tomyum煮得好好吃
但是蛮辣的 不过对于嗜辣的我来说是再好不过了

酸酸辣辣的汤里添加了数种香料调味
还放了 墨鱼 鲜虾 超好吃的
价钱也不很贵 在 马币 10块以下喔

我此番泰国行也吃了tomyum 两次
还是不嫌腻 好好吃





食物 3

这一道呢也是来泰国必点
其实就是炒果条
他们叫做 Phad Thai
这道与一般炒果条不一样
微微带辣 再撒些柠檬汁
酸酸甜甜 超开胃的

这道我也好喜欢 下次若有机会再去
一定会再尝尝




食物 4

这间 Mango Tango 是在曼谷颇有名气的 芒果甜品专卖店
来泰国就是要吃芒果糯米饭
他们家的芒果香甜美味 配上那淋了椰汁的糯米饭
真的超棒的啦

在街边也到处都有在卖芒果糯米饭哟
来泰国也一定要试一试
我个人真的非常喜欢芒果糯米饭
我也连续吃了三次 哪 ～




食物 5

这间 After you dessert cafe
是来曼谷必去的甜品店
它的招牌 honey toast 必尝
它的土司可说是外酥内软 里面还有香气诱人的奶油
虽然很胖但是值得一吃
真的很好吃
我想是我吃过最好吃的土司其中之一吧

来曼谷是一定要去的呀 ！





以上都是在曼谷的所见所闻
接下来来上传在华欣的旅程
我们去了好多地方
很多都是很漂亮很欧式风的景点
其实我写到这里我已经好想睡觉了
所以详细的景点呢我就不写了
如果有兴趣到访华欣再来私信问问我把 :)

接下来就来让照片说故事吧
这次旅程有两个情侣 所以哪
也谢谢两位美丽的小姐还有一位帅哥陪我做了电灯泡 嘿嘿
总的来说
这趟旅程真的很开心
有机会我必定再访曼谷
下次有机会我再详述我在泰国的自助行心得吧

前阵子把我的部落格网址从insta 和 fb 中删除了
也不想让自己的部落让很多人知道
有心人必然会看 :)
也不需要让太多人知道自己的事


写到这里 已经接近临晨 3点钟
也时候睡了
晚安 大家